Tales from The Dark Side

Saturday Began with a Good Idea

In turbulent economic times, I’m fascinated by the corporate culture and philosophy of businesses that not only survive but thrive.

As such, the staying power of specialized body services establishments intrigues me. I’ve yet to see a Going Out of Business sign on a nail salon; in fact, new ones seem to be opening daily.

A foot reflexology provider has opened next to the grocery I frequent on Wednesdays. They’re having a grand opening special: 60 minutes for $30. This appeared an incredibly good deal–until I learned (after my session) that the regular rate is a whopping $35.

After six consecutive days of voluntary incarceration in response to the very real risk of spontaneously combusting between the front porch and the vehicle, David asked what I’d like to do today.

I needed nary a moment to answer.

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The Wonder of Extracurricular Activities

I would swear that when I was younger we had 12 full weeks of summer break.

‘Tis no longer the way of the public school district — at least not in this area.

Our 8.4 weeks of summer (which, if you didn’t already know, is an acronym for Seconds Until Most Mothers Exhaust Rationality) are coming to a close. Which is a good thing, as it’s H.O.T. out, and playing outside isn’t permitted after 7:30AM; it’s simply not safe.

For me, whether summer break is 8.4 or 12 weeks in length, its end is always festively and ceremoniously announced by the wondrous display of new boxes of crayons, animal-adorned Trapper Keepers, and pristine pencil boxes at Target. I mean, have you opened a new pack of crayons lately and intoxicated yourself with its scent? It’s euphoric. Almost as euphoric as the aroma of a freshly opened can of Play-doh.

And yet nowhere near as euphoric as…

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Tagged with: humor

Post Office Patience

This morning I had to go to the post office with the kids to mail some Hold It Baby documentation. This particular post office is notoriously busy, so I was thrilled to be #4 in line. My euphoria, however, was quickly decimated by the site of my worst nightmare donning the entrance.

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Tagged with: kid humor

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